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End of the beginning.

I know this move is stressful on you, but don’t you think it is for me too? You’re sitting here saying you’re about to break down because you’re so far away from everyone, and you hate your new apartment, and you miss your old one… Well don’t you think this is eating me alive knowing you’re so fucking far away now? Not once have you taken my emotions into consideration… Yeah I know I can’t change your mind but don’t be so fucking selfish. I know you’re upset about moving, and I’m sorry, but don’t act like you didn’t have a choice in the move. You had a home here, at my house, with me. You could have continued pursuing that job at the airport. But instead you took the easy way out. You chose to move with your mom because you had a guaranteed job there. It’s just not fair you’re getting mad at me when you’re not the only one who has a right to be upset. I am never going to be able to see you anymore. You’re over an hour away, and have no car.

Hopefully we are strong enough to make it through this. But if you ask me, our relationship has already endured so much that I don’t think it’s strong enough anymore…

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Things will never be the same again.

Now that you moved over an hour away, I know things between are just going to get worse. By that, I mean the fighting and the rarely every being happy. I’m worried for our relationship, because I don’t think we are strong enough to make it through never seeing each other and fighting constantly.

I guess we’ll never be the same… =\

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kayellee: Kayellee Giveaway!!! Here’s the rules: 1) you must reblog this, no likes. 2) can reblog once a day. 3) have to click here and add my etsy store to your favorites. 4) you have to be following kayellee. 5) this post must reach 1,000 notes. <3 <3 <3 I will check to make sure you did all of the above. This package includes a custom made kawaii iphone case, piggy iphone case, candy bow ring, little mermaid bow tie, and edgy rose ring. Total valued at more than $50.  A winner will be randomly chosen. Good luck pretty babies.

kayellee:

Kayellee Giveaway!!!

Here’s the rules: 1) you must reblog this, no likes. 2) can reblog once a day. 3) have to click here and add my etsy store to your favorites. 4) you have to be following kayellee. 5) this post must reach 1,000 notes. <3 <3 <3 I will check to make sure you did all of the above.

This package includes a custom made kawaii iphone case, piggy iphone case, candy bow ring, little mermaid bow tie, and edgy rose ring. Total valued at more than $50. 

A winner will be randomly chosen. Good luck pretty babies.

(via mermaidbound)

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Love not being able to talk to you tonight, because you talking about the ‘Miami Zombie’ with your mom was more important. Whatever. Least you never have to worry about not bonding with her anymore since your moving over an hour away with her, and have no car to see me.

Good fucking night, Tumblr. ;(

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Memories, they take her back. Every moment fades to black. Every kiss and every taste. She wishes time would ease the pain.

Where did everything go? We used to be so fucking happy without a care in the world? Now, it’s not like that in the slightest. We are happy on occasions, we see each other when we can. I go to work, you look for work. We fall asleep in each others arms only if we had a decent night. Making love hasn’t really been ‘making love’ in awhile. It’s just…nothings the same.

It’s never ‘Do I have enough for myself?’. No, it’s always ‘do I have enough to pay for myself and Sam?’. It seems I make money just to throw it all away. I cannot even begin to explain how much money I’ve spent in the past month, and I wouldn’t have spent a single penny of that if it wasn’t for you.

  1. $20 at Munchies Cafe
  2. $10 at Steak and Shake
  3. $30 at Hookah
  4. $5 at Winghouse with my discount
  5. $21 today at Red Robin
  6.  Going to spend $65 on World of Warcraft for you because I KNOW you want it back. I miss playing it, but I don’t wanna pay for it.
  7. Etc etc etc…
I was okay with spending money here or there, but it’s starting to get ridiculous. I’m blowing money left and right. Next month (possibly) I’ll be getting a car that I’ll have to pay for leasing costs and insurance BY MYSELF, just so I can help you get back and forth for a job. Yeah I want a car, but i could wait. But I know you need transportation. In a few months I’m going to helping pay back all your school debts and then helping pay to get you back into college just so I know you have a set education.
You sit here and say you wanna go get your apprenticeship at a tattoo place to start working towards you future your career as a tattoo artist, but all I’ve seen you do is draw a ton and not bother calling any place to get the actual job. And to be honest, I know you want to get a job as a tattoo artist, but in my opinion, you should be worried about finding a job that’s going to pay you NOW so that you can start contributing to the life we are supposed to have together.
I’m just so drained from everything. You say I get mad so easily, and yes, lately I have been. Want to know why? Because I am so frustrated from all of this and I have it all hiding deep down and I just cannot tell you because then I feel like a bitch. I don’t want to say that you’re holding me back, because if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have pushed myself so hard in school, but…sigh. You honestly are starting to hold me back. Financially, physically, mentally… You don’t have a job, and you haven’t made much progress on getting one. You don’t act like the super caring and emotional boyfriend you used to. You aren’t spontaneous anymore. Now all you seem to do is irritate me. Things I used to find cute now get on my nerves. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been so on edge because of all this or not, though. 
Fuck. I’m still so aggravated at the fact you didn’t get out of that car today with me. After me paying for your dinner, you still stayed in the fucking car to go hang out with our friends while I went into the house we once shared by myself. Yeah, I kind of tested you by saying ‘bye you guys’, but I still though you would have been the boyfriend you used to fucking be and never leave my fucking side. That shit hurt, so much. But like an idiot, I still walked away. Bit my tongue like I always do, and walked away. The worst part is I’m probably not even going to bring it up when you get home whenever you do, just so I can save us a fight tonight. I’d like to fall asleep happy tonight since you are leaving tomorrow bright and early for the rest of the week. (love how the tears start falling just fucking thinking about that)
I fucking HATE feeling this way about you. I love you, I know I do. Yes the fire we once had has practically completely died, but we can get that back…right? We can get back that spark we used to have? The love that was once so fucking strong we couldn’t control it? …I really hope so. I hate how things have turned. We fight for no reason whatsoever. Yes it’s partially my fault because of all my built in frustration…but it’s your fault I’m frustrated in the first place. But since you don’t know about this frustration, you just think I’m getting mad at you for no reason at all… I hate throwing away paycheck after paycheck just so we can actually do something and keep our minds off of everything going on. I hate thinking everything will eventually get better if I just keep trying. 
…I despise having to try so hard to keep our relationship together.
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